I've come back from the dead!!

Wednesday, Sept. 21, 2005 ~ 6:35 p.m.

You know how you know you're not with the right guy when one little thing bugs you forever and ever? Well, okay, so maybe you don't know, but that has always been my problem when being interested in someone (or trying to make myself interested is what it seems like lately, which is just about as easy as getting oneself turned on by a box of crackers, this making oneself be interested in a boy). Like any hot-blooded woman - I have simply wanted an object to crave.

Anyhow, my point is that everytime I have become interested in a guy or thought that I was interested, up to this point, there has always been one or two little things that have bothered me. Little things that shouldn't bother me but actually make me feel a little sick to my stomach. Like if he needs a haircut or he's got some sleep still left in his eyes in the middle of the day. Things that completely repulse me and turn my stomach. Really, I shouldn't be so fickle, I tell myself. But I am of the firm belief that that stuff wouldn't bother me if I really had a genuine interest in a guy and was not just trying to turn myself on with a box of crackers. That's always been my problem, little things -- and I admire the girls that are able to look beyond bad breath, long fingernails and dirty socks to date boys that they aren't truly attracted to nor love. I guess I have never been able to make myself that desperate is all.

That's all I'm going to say there.

The suckers loose themselves in the games they learn to play,
Children love to sing but then their voices slowly fade away.
People always take a step away from what is true,
That's why I like you around,

I want you.
Yeah you do... you make me want you.

An open invitation to the dance,
Happenstance set the vibe that we are in,
No apology because my urge is genuine,
And the mystery of your rhythm is so feminine.
Here I am and I want to take a hit,
Of your scent 'cos it bit,
So deep into my soul,
I want you.

Yeah you do you do, you make me want you.
Oh you do you do, you make me want you.
(Send me all your vampires),
And I can't get enough,
And I can't get enough,

The village church yard is filled with bones weeping in the grave,
The silver lining of clouds shines on people Jesus couldn't save,
You want to know how deeply my soul goes, Deeper than bones, deeper than bones

Oh you do you do, you make me want you.
Oh you do you do, you make me want you.
(Send me all your vampires),
And I can't get enough,
And I can't get enough,

After we did it by the window sill,
Smoke rings drift into the midnight sky,
presently in the quilt that your mother made,
A prayer candle burns to fight off the gloom,
I said to live in this way is not for the meek,
And like a jazz DJ you talk me into sleep,
There will be no regrets when the worms come,
And they will surely come.

You do you do, I want you,
(Send me all your vampires),
I want you

--------------------

On another note, I'm back from England, and alive!! I've not got the energy to write a proper entry about it but I'll do some point form things. :) I love point form.

- It was amazing. And so surreal, I couldn't believe that I was there, even when I was actually there. When our plane was landing at Heathrow we had to circle for a little while.. and tears actually came to my eyes at the thought that I was about to do something I had been dreaming of since I was a child.

- Bex was amazing. She looked after me so well and had all these great things planned to do. Some people (myself occasionally included) were concerned that things would be awkward and a bit funny. They were not at all -- like she told someone, we carried on like we had been together everyday before that. I really had always imagined, for the five years that we've known each other, that our friendship transcended distance/time/barriers, and I was right. She is an excellent friend -- I felt more at ease and comfortable being around her than I feel with some of the people I have been friends with for years and years and years.

Things I want to remember:

- Seeing Chicago.
- Seeing The Tempest performed at Shakespeare's GLOBE THEATRE!
- "Flying" on the London Eye
- The "waterbus", psch.
- Sri Thai and the cutest waitress in the world.
- The cute boy on the tube on the way from the airport, who, when Bex told me that England had lost their footie match, looked at us with the most worried, cute little expression on his face and said "T.. They lost?" *hugs him*
- Paul, the playaplaya who made too many mistakes.
- His hot friend Jerry.
- The Soho Lounge being amazing on a Saturday night.
- The Soho Lounge catering to lesbians and old people on a Tuesday night.
- Having a boy from.. Latvia? chatting us up until Paul rescued us.
- Being burnt by someone with their cigarette in Soho after he said "Hey bigstuff."
- Standing up for myself to the rude Middle Eastern souvenir vendor.
- Not standing up for myself against the rude American London Eye passenger.
- Having our pictures taken for someone's art piece by the Thames.
- Having the monkeys at the London Zoo nearly steal Bex's mobile phone.
- Getting so drunk and having nowhere to go.
- Watching Kama Sutra in our hotel room. (HA!)
- Telling the maid to go away when we were too tired to deal with the awkwardness of having our room cleaned while we were still in it.
- Crying in the Heathrow tube station.
- Trying my best to be brave and not cry while wandering through Heathrow Airport by myself. Biting my lip to stop it from trembling and getting funny stares.
- Losing my mp3 player in our room.
- Meeting Holly, who was lovely.
- Hamley's Toy Store.
- Buying Bex her first Bear Factory bear.
- Having to try THREE TIMES to get our pictures to turn out properly in one of those photo booths.
- Being lame and sore nearly 100% of the time.
- Matching blisters on our feet.
- Going to an internet cafe to use the internet, and sitting beside someone using the internet that I primarily only talk to while I am using the internet. Bizarre.
- Salvador Dali is one horny bastard.
- Being made fun of for saying "Dolly".
- Getting teary in The National Gallery when in the Stubbs and the Horse exhibit in front of Whistlejacket, and then getting weepy again at the mares and foals photos.
- Having an "emergency" on our double decker bus ride.
- Allen (the tour bus guide guy): Did you know that next year they're going to replace the East and West faces of Big Ben with digital time?
Bex: REALLY?!
- "rain bags"
- Spending an hour straightening my hair only for it to go frizzy within an hour.
- Being told that "for a woman from a farm in Canada, you can dance pretty well."

Oh god, there's just so much stuff to try and remember.. it was amazing.

Anyhow, here is an album of photos I took - I still have about 100 more photos to edit and upload. Also note that in most of those photos, Bex's listed as "Wills" or "Willowbrooks", I am referred to as "Prodigy" and Holly is referred to as "MA" since they are our monikers on Equination and that's the crowd that I made up the album for!

Click here for photos!